


THIRTY DAY CHIP

by trashpup



Series: BAD THINGS HAPPEN BINGO [1]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Rehabilitation, suicide mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:34:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28750767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashpup/pseuds/trashpup
Summary: Waking up unable to breathe isn't fun, just ask TK.BTHB 1: HURTS TO BREATHE
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: BAD THINGS HAPPEN BINGO [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107794
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	THIRTY DAY CHIP

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SneetchesToo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SneetchesToo/gifts).



> hooray! here's number one!!  
> as of posting, i have a total of eleven requests out of the twenty-five squares, which is almost half, which is super exciting!!!  
> i'm going to try and post one or two a week, but we'll see how my schedule looks in the upcoming weeks

Waking up unable to breathe was never a good thing. 

TK had grown used to it, though. It happened frequently now, given that he’d been shot. Even still, before the shooting, it was during each stint in rehab and it was never this bad. The nightmares were worse now, though. He woke up at least twice a night, sometimes more. Normally he could sleep through an earthquake, but now, the quietest noises woke him up, breathing erratically, scratching at his throat or his chest, trying to force his lungs to open up. 

He tried to keep himself quiet, tried to keep the crying and panting low enough that it wouldn’t wake Carlos up. There were some days that he couldn’t stop himself and ended up waking Carlos before he even had a chance to try and get out of bed or shut himself up. TK ended up apologising profusely for waking Carlos up every single time as he climbed out of bed and to the bathroom. 

The nightmares that followed the shooting were hellish, TK felt himself get shot over and over and over again, unable to stop the pain. He would wake up nearly screaming in pain. Tonight was different, still bad, but different. 

_“Dad, why won’t you come see me?” TK whimpered. It was a familiar scene. He was curled up in his psychiatrist’s office, sitting on the floor next to his desk where the man had let TK use his phone to call his father._

_“I told you before, I want to be able to see progress before I see you. I want to know that you’ve been clean and sober for at least thirty days before I come over there,” Owen replied, his voice static-y._

_TK could picture Owen on the other end of the line. TK had probably called him during a shift or during a meal. He usually interrupted his father during important things._

_“I need you, dad,” TK cried, his entire body was clammy and he was trembling. Owen didn’t say anything in return, he just sighed and hung up the phone._

_TK set the phone down as gently as he could before he was trying to stand up on shaky legs. He stumbled a few times as he made his way back to his room, his eyes watery, his ears ringing. He barely made it to his bed before completely breaking down._

_He doesn’t know how long he laid in bed sobbing, but it didn’t feel long enough. In between heaving breaths he felt a hand on his back, rubbing gently to try and soothe him._

_“Tyler, honey, are you alright?”_

_TK recognised the voice, it was one of his favourite nurses, the one that let him take an extra pudding cup on days where there were visitors, knowing that he wouldn’t have a visitor until his thirtieth day. She was the one that always let him cry on her shoulder, no matter what he was crying about._

_“Tyler, it’s Nurse Valeña. Sweetheart, can you take a deep breath for me, please?”_

_He tried, he really did, but it made him panic. He felt like he was drowning. Everyone wanted something and he couldn’t keep up. He tried to explain to the nurse how he didn’t think he was ever going to get better but with how hard he was crying, it hurt to talk, it hurt to breathe._

“TK? Ty? Tyler, wake up.”

It was a male voice speaking to him this time, shaking him, trying to get him to wake up. TK finally managed to pry his eyes open, but his chest felt tight, too tight. Again. 

“’Los?” TK wheezed, clutching at his chest as he sat up. Carlos took TK’s hands and held onto them tightly, knowing the stitches were right next to where TK was gripping. 

“Hey, slow down, you’re okay. Take a breath and tell me what’s going on,” Carlos said softly, holding onto TK’s hands, rubbing his thumbs over TK’s knuckles, not letting the smaller man yank them away and back to his chest. 

“I was- I was back in rehab,” TK gasped for air, trying to calm himself down. He could feel his heart racing in his chest and up his throat, it made him want to vomit, he hated the way nightmares made him feel. 

TK took another few minutes to calm himself down enough to where he was just crying and could take a couple of breaths without feeling like he was going to pass out, then he continued, “Dad wouldn’t come to see me in rehab. I’m going to get sent back to rehab because I got shot and- and I’m a failure.”

Carlos couldn’t process TK’s words fast enough to understand and respond before he felt TK’s body shake as his sobs got louder and more aggressive. He just had to hold TK through them, unable to find the right words to say. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” TK’s voice was quiet, it sounded so unlike him that Carlos wouldn’t have recognised it if he’d heard it on the street. “I didn’t mean to.” 

“Ty, I’m glad it woke me up, I want to be here to help you and I can’t do that if I’m asleep. You aren’t a failure because you got shot and they had to give you medication for it. You’re regulating your own medication and you have me double-check it for you, you’re taking steps in the right direction, sweetheart,” Carlos explained as best he could given the time and fact that he was woken up before dawn by his boyfriend basically giving himself an asthma attack.

“I have to start all over, it would’ve been easier if I’d died…” 

TK’s words hung in the air as they drifted back to sleep, TK having tired himself out quickly. Carlos, however, couldn’t sleep knowing that TK wished he would’ve died when he got shot. It’s not something he was prepared to hear or prepared to deal with.


End file.
